....don't worry...I'll wait....
So I'm standing in the baby section in our local Wal-Mart the other day...which by the way, is surprisingly more plentiful than the local Super-Target's baby section....and I got ol'boy strapped to my frontside. He's gotten so big, his fat calves and little chubby feet dangle out the bottom of the "baby sling" that I had to have been the laughing stock of the Wal-Mart patronage. Anyway, I'm checking out formula prices and this lady walks by and stops, looks at me and says, "Hey, you were in my parenting class!" And I look at her, thinking to myself..."SHIT! Once again, someone knows who I am, when I'm thinking I'm going out incognito....no makeup, shitty outfit, shittier hairdo...and in an even SHITTIER hygienic state of being!" But I recognize her face, yet don't remember her 'story' from the class. So I look at her and say, "YESSS....!!??? (???) Weren't you to lady whose husband was going to try to take his R&R from Iraq to make it back in time for your firstborn's delivery?" She said yes, and informed me that her husband had made it back right in the nick of time -- and my heart immediately sank! I peered into her cart, and she had a VERY healthy baby girl -- who was, like, twice the size of Ryder and was born -- LITERALLY -- two weeks ago. I can't imagine what it would be like to go thru an entire pregnancy without my significant other...have the baby -- then have to send said other off back to war, having just gotten used to having him back. Though she seemed to be dealing with it just as strongly as any military wife I've EVER come across -- I couldn't help but thank my lucky stars that Raymond has been here thru this entire process. We talked small talk, played the whole "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" game -- and before we parted ways, I made sure I told her about the other bitch I ran across from our class. You remember: the one who, maybe, 2 hours before her due date I spotted in the parking lot of H-E-B extinguishing a cigarette!!! It felt good to gossip for :20 with a woman I may very well never see again, so that was surely the highlight of my February!
PSYCHE! The highlight of my February has been Ryder, no doi! How could you not love this hairy, CEREAL eatin', ain't-goin'-to-sleepin', ain't-gonna-stay-asleepin', cuddly, cutie-patootie of a manchild!?! Although, sometimes I wonder about his eye....nah, not really....moms told me my eyes used to do the same thing, and I guess I turned out OK, right? BAAAHHHHAHAHAHA! Guess it means he'll just be really, really, ridiculously good looking, intelligent, and have an impeccable sense of taste for cheap wine....
...guess it's no secret I've had a couple of glasses tonight, is it?
1 comment:
Mmm, wine. Too bad I'm all out. :(
Post a Comment