We're Getting Close...But No Cigars Yet, Dangit!

Saw the doc today for our 35-week appointment and NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS, right? Upon entry, I was excited, as no one was in the waiting room, and I thought I should just speed on through this appointment...no problemo. Well. One. Would. ASSUME...??...only no assumptions are safe when talking about my obstetrician's office. I walk in, tell them my name and that I'm there for the 9:30 appointment, and the nice lady behind the desk (whom I've had many an encounter with since conception...) informs me that my appointment has been canceled. OH HEEEELLLL NAW! Did no one think to call me and inform me of such? Do you NOT see that I'm very pregnant, [and presumably] hormonal...and therefore should not be [fudged] with!? There must be some mistake. But there wasn't. Needless to say, she must have heard the blood beginning to boil beneath my skin...because she immediately began tinkering away at the Doctor's calendar, and did me a favor by "squeezing" me in. WHAT THE CRAP DO YOU MEAN?! There isn't another soul in this waiting room, so I'm sure you're not doing me THAT big of a favor by putting me in on his calendar! So that hacked me off from the get-go.

So I waddle away from the intake area, off to the bathroom where I have to give my routine sampling...shouldn't be a problem, right? I mean, this is a routine thing...ONLY NOT TODAY! We all know giving "#1 samples" is difficult enough for girls, but throw in a gigantic belly and poor aim, and you get...well...nothing. GREAT, that was a huge waste of time and some perfectly good urine. TMI? Ah, get over it! ;)

Does anyone remember Bill Murray's character on Little Shop of Horrors when he would sit in the waiting room in utter desperacy to see the dentist? Well, that was me today sitting in the waiting room, waiting for my name to be called in to see the Doc. Though my Doc isn't NEARLY as brilliant and entertaining as Steve Martin's character in the movie, I was stoked because I knew that this particular appointment would be the first appointment marking the beginning of the end! For every week until D-Day, I will go in weekly, and the Doc will check my cervix to see if I'm dilating. I couldn't WAIT to find out how close I'm getting to the end; and I'm not even close. No dilation, folks, nothing to see here...you can all go home. I can report, however, that this was the most painful appointment to date, and no one prepares you for this. Either all of my predecessors have acted like this whole birthing thing is second nature (ahem, ChenHowePeel...), or they act as if the sky is falling and that birthing is the next worse thing in life other than the results of this past week's elections! Consider me to be one of those that lingers somewhere in between...but don't let anyone tell you that the cervical checks are a cakewalk, because they're misleading you, my friends.

Of all the messy letdowns that happened today at the Doc's office, I do have one piece of good news to report: labor pains aren't supposed to hold a candle to the pain(s) associated with kidney stones. Been THERE, done that TWICE...and got the stupid, worthless T-shirt to prove it both times...but if I can look forward to labor not being as painful, I should be in good shape. OH, and I managed to give a successful sample before I departed, so I made up for some bad ju-ju after all. SWEET!

Baby Class, Round #3 is tonight, so if there's anything worth reporting from that...I'll be sure to oblige tomorrow...