OMG...I'm one of THOSE!

I hate to admit it, but I've become one of THOSE. One of THOSE people who bend over in all over her post-pregnancy-thighs-and-behind glory into the stroller to squeal, "What do you SEEEEEE!? GIT THAT DUCK-DUCK!!! WHAT DID THE COW SAY??? MOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yeah, that's me....that disruptive asshole in the middle of Nordstroms.

I coulda, shoulda, woulda been in a movie last Friday when I was waiting on Mom and Grandma Yuki to meet me at the exit of Nordstroms from a long day of shopping. I was waiting with Ryder who was comfortably laying in his stroller, just slightly comatose from the bottle he'd just consumed. Lil' homie awoke a little cranky, so I began dancing, bending over *in all my post-pregnancy-thighs-and-behind-and-all-that-other-extra-jazz-hanging-from-my-body* glory, and doing whatever else I could to entertain him until Mom and Grandma returned.... Meanwhile, two female employees walk over to me to check out my baby, like women do.....which to this day I STILL do not get why/how some women find genuine interest in other strangers' babies.... I'm introducing Ryder to these women, explaining to them why he's cranky, and showing them/him his little stroller toys, when I notice his eyes spontaneously widen. Before I can react *which I knew what sort of madness was about to ensue, I just wasn't prepared...and a burp cloth was NOT within reach!!* said homie barfs projectile vertical vomit out of his buggy, onto me, his buggy...and consequently, as gravity would have it, himself. Much to these ladies' amusement, and probable disgust. I use up the next 5 minutes burning through all of the blankets and burp cloths I've packed in his monstrous baby bag and stroller....ANYTHING absorbent within an arm's reach. Then both grandmas arrive, and we leave after Ryder made his skidmark upon the main entrance/exit and employees of the contemporary section of Nordstroms Barton Creek....

You see, I wrote this post because just five minutes before I sat down to my computer, I sat here....husband and baby asleep.....just me and the cat.....and I found myself singing the jingle to the "FreeCreditReport.com" commercial to the cat. Not only was I feeling rather excitable from the glass of Pinot I just had, and perhaps musical....but I busted out in complete song. And dance. And facial expression. Yeah, like I said, kids....I'm THAT guy these days. The guy that usually would have pressed the mute button to have avoided such songs. But nowadays, I find myself looking to provide amusement to little Ryder in the most unassuming ways, that I've become a complete idiot in private...and seemingly...in public, too! When I caught myself making googly eyes at the cat while singing, "....shoulda gone to FREEEEEEEECreditRe-Port.com"....I knew I was a changed woman, realizing what an ass I've made of myself in recent days/weeks/months.

But you know what, just as long as I don't start DRESSING like one of those dorky moms....I'll be okay. I expect one of y'all would let me know, and stage an intervention if things became THAT bad. Please do.

Some recent pics of Mommy's Little Badass!

Ryder's (Grandma Linda's) New Stroller...Compliments of Aunt Jenny's Idea!

Ryder and his "Duck-Duck"



Ryder In Rockstar Mode